August 2020 Menu

Uncle Bob presents a six-pack of

All-American Limericks, Pack 6

"Three cheers for the embarassed, abashed, and slightly smutty."


A grimy young boy of Lamar
Keeps his favorite frog in a jar.
Wraps his favorite turtle
In someone’s old girdle,
Um, leaves the creepy old newts where they are.


A dotty old coot from St. Paul
Went clothes shopping out at the Mall.
Lost his jacket while changing,
And his wallet and keyring –
Came out wearing nothing at all.


An ingenue from Cincinnati
Was as elegant as she was batty.
She wore fancy clothes
From a hat down to hose,
But her sneakers were totally ratty.


If you are a scribe from Biloxi,
A limerick calls for no moxie.
Orthodoxy not needed,
Rhythm, meter not heeded,
For you still have to work in
Boxy, soxy, and epoxy!


A fiery young dentist from Ossining
Would strongly commend a good floss-ening.
He’d point to green rocks
On the banks near the docks
And preach that a floss-ening stops moss-ening.


A bell ringer John from up Sebewaing
Decided to have one last fling-a-ding.
He found him a lass
And plied her with class,
But alas, she’d no use for his ding-a-ling.

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